Gideon's Bride Page 4

  “Explain? No, I don’t think so. You’ve done some crazy, impulsive things in your life, but this, this goes far beyond anything you’ve ever done.”

  “This isn’t a crazy impulse, Jess. I’m serious.”

  “You’re serious. Well, of course, that makes all the difference.” The withering sarcasm only strengthened Rennie’s resolve and she gripped the phone tighter.

  “I’m going to do this, Jess. Please don’t try to interfere.”

  “Rennie, for God’s sake, I can’t let you make a mistake like this. If you were about to walk into a minefield, would you expect me to just stand there and do nothing?”

  “It’s not the same thing.”

  “No? How is it different? If Lowell ever discovers who you really are, what do you think will happen?”

  “How can he find out unless you tell him? No one would recognize me the way I look now. And it’s perfectly legal to call myself Fortier instead of Whitney. After all, it’s the name I was born with, the name on my birth certificate. All I have to do is apply for a Wyoming driver’s license in the name of Rennie Fortier, and Francesca Whitney disappears.”

  “Rennie...”

  “Listen to me for once, Jess. For once, just listen. If you had listened to me two years ago when I wanted you to lend me the money to buy the Circle F, if we hadn’t fought about my moving back to Montana, maybe things would be different. Maybe—”

  “I don’t believe this! So now it’s my fault you’re going to screw up your life?”

  “No, I didn’t say that! You can be so exasperating at times!” She brought herself under control. “Jess, ever since I came out of the coma I’ve lived in limbo. Now, for the first time in a long time, I have a sense of purpose. I’m not drifting anymore. They need me, Jess, and I...need them.”

  “Honey, you can’t have thought this through. Just take a minute and think about it now. How can you build a new life based on a lie?”

  “It’s not a lie. Not exactly.”

  “Isn’t it?” He waited a moment, then said gently, “A loveless marriage can be hell on the soul, Rennie. And haven’t you already suffered enough? More than a year in a coma, months of physical therapy learning to walk again, those internal injuries—”

  “Don’t.” Months of heartache and pain condensed into one word.

  He pressed on relentlessly. “And what happens down the road if you can’t stick it out? You’ll only make matters worse than they already are for that family.”

  “I won’t quit.” It was a vow. “I won’t!”

  The telephone line hummed in the ensuing silence. Finally Jess said, “Isn’t there anything I can say to make you change your mind?”

  Rennie had heard that pleading note in his voice only once before, when she’d struggled to consciousness in the hospital to find him at her bedside. The memory made her try again to explain her motives.

  “Jess, you know I’ve never really been happy in L.A. I was born out here and this land is in my blood. This is the life I’ve always wanted. God knows I tried to be what everybody wanted me to be, but I can’t. I can’t. Don’t you see? I’m doing this for me as much as for them.”

  “If the ranch is the only reason you—”

  “It’s not, and you know it. It’s part of it. But the children are the most important part. They’re the real reason, Jess. You know I can never have children of my own. But these children need a mother, and that mother can be me. I’m not going to throw this chance away.”

  “And if Lowell finds out who you are?”

  “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” She sent up a fervent prayer that she would never have to do so. Then she added the clincher. “This isn’t just something I want to do, Jess, it’s something I have to do. Can’t you see that?”

  He sighed and Rennie knew she’d won, this round at least.

  “When is the wedding?”

  “Two weeks from tomorrow.”

  “Good God. Why so soon?”

  “Gideon wants his children home with him as soon as possible, and I agreed. They’ve been living at his sister-in-law’s. I’m flying back to Los Angeles on Saturday to pack.”

  “If you’re coming back, why did you tell me all this over the phone?”

  “I wanted you to have time to calm down before I saw you.”

  Silence. “Wise move,” Jess said at last. “When does your flight arrive in L.A.? I’ll meet your plane.”

  “I don’t know yet. I’ll call you when I do. But Jess,” she warned, “don’t even think of trying to change my mind.”

  “I can’t promise you that, damn it.”

  Even over the phone Rennie felt his frustration, and her throat swelled with emotion. For seven years Jess had been her only family, and though he’d never understood her, he’d always been there when she needed him. But this time she needed him to let go. It was time he stopped protecting her.

  “I love you, Jess,” she whispered before he could say anything more.

  “I love you, too, honey.”

  “Wish me luck?”

  “With all my heart.”

  Rennie put down the phone with trembling hands and a sense of finality. It was done. Jess knew, and for the moment, at least, he accepted her decision.

  She was committed now.

  Chapter 3

  The next two weeks passed in a blur, for which Rennie was grateful. If she had had time to think, she might have changed her mind. But the few days she spent wrapping up her life in Los Angeles were so hectic that she tumbled exhausted into bed each night and slept dreamlessly. And when she returned to Wyoming, her days and nights were filled with trips to the Rocking L with Gideon and visiting the Holden ranch to see Gideon’s children.

  She’d heard nothing but praise of her future husband from the residents of Carter’s Junction when she’d first come to town. Now she watched him with the townsfolk and saw that it was true—they liked and respected him. She observed him with his ranch hands, and saw the same. But she saw even more. She saw a man who seemed alone, somehow, even in a crowd, a man who’d forgotten how to laugh. A man who rarely smiled, except around his children.

  The children. It all came back to them. Darling Andrew, who loved to be tickled and cuddled. Sweet Trina, whose eagerness to please and mercurial mood swings expressed her underlying insecurity. And Nicki. Troubled, hostile Nicki, who poignantly reminded Rennie of herself so many years ago.

  The children needed her. So did Gideon. And as she’d told Jess, she needed them.

  * * *

  On an unusually warm Friday in May, Rennie and Gideon stood side by side before the altar of St. Luke’s Church on the Hill. The afternoon sun streaming through the stained glass window above the altar cast jewel-toned shards of light around the sanctuary as they exchanged vows—Rennie in a voice scarcely above a whisper, Gideon in deep, firm tones. Then, as Rennie watched, Gideon slid a slim gold band on the third finger of her left hand.

  She stared at the ring for a moment, the symbol of their commitment to each other, and all at once the enormity of what she’d done overwhelmed her. Jess’s warnings crept back to haunt her and she trembled slightly, feeling suddenly cold in her short-sleeved lavender dress. If Gideon should ever find out the truth...

  Gideon’s hand closed over hers as if to reassure her, but his touch only added to her fears. Her eyes flickered from his hand, over the gray wool of his suit coat, up to his face, and then away. But that brief look told her enough. Underneath his calm exterior, Gideon was just as nervous as she was, though for far different reasons. After all, he was risking a lot in taking such a momentous step with a woman he scarcely knew. He had no way of knowing that Rennie was determined to do everything in her power to make this arranged marriage a success.

  Everything’s going to work out, she promised herself. I’ll make it work. There’s no reason for Gideon to ever learn the truth. So all I have to do is concentrate on being the best wife and mother I can possibly be from this moment on
, and let the future take care of itself.

  But the tiny voice of doubt refused to be silenced.

  * * *

  As Reverend Tom finished the ceremony, Gideon felt a moment of panic. What was he doing, for God’s sake? How could he think this...arrangement stood a chance? His marriage with Johanna hadn’t been nine perfect years. They had fought occasionally, like all couples, but the deep love they shared had carried them through the hard times.

  How could a marriage survive without love?

  He looked down at Rennie’s pale face and realized that she must be experiencing the same last-minute doubts. Gideon knew a brief moment of compassion and comradeship. He caught her eye and smiled encouragingly, as something akin to calm settled over him.

  I made the right decision. Rennie’s a natural mother. This past week has proved that. Trina and Andrew took to her so quickly it’s almost a sign from above that things are going to work out. And God willing, even Nicki will come to accept her, given time. Maybe not as a mother, exactly, but as a friend. God, please let it happen that way. Then Rennie will have what she wants from our marriage: children to love. And she won’t expect things from me that I can’t give.

  Expectations. How different his own expectations this time around. This time he was going into marriage with his eyes open and his heart closed. He knew what he was doing. What you don’t love, you can’t lose, and he wasn’t risking his heart. Never that again.

  But he’d take a chance on friendship. Rennie’s friendship.

  Gideon suddenly became aware of a hushed, waiting silence. He’d been staring blindly in Rennie’s general direction for the past few minutes. Now his vision focused on her face. Her lovely eyes were frantically signaling something to him, but Gideon couldn’t quite make out the message. He glanced up at Tom, his minister and long-time friend, and raised a questioning eyebrow.

  “I said, you may kiss the bride.”

  Gideon bent down what seemed a long way to brush his lips lightly over Rennie’s. Hers were warm, soft, and unexpectedly sweet, tempting him to deepen the kiss. A collective murmur of voices hummed in the background and he pulled back.

  Forget it. Now’s not the time or place. You’ve got an audience, remember?

  “Congratulations,” Reverend Tom said, extending his hand to Gideon.

  Gideon straightened and shook his friend’s hand. “Thanks, Tom.”

  The minister had expressed his disapproval over their hasty decision to marry and had tried to convince them to wait. But he’d finally agreed to perform the ceremony when Rennie and Gideon both insisted on going forward as planned, even if it meant not having a church wedding.

  Reverend Tom took Rennie’s hand in both of his. In a voice pitched to carry no further than the couple in front of him, he said, “If you ever need to talk—” he shot a look at Gideon “—either of you, my door is always open. Remember that. And know that I’ll be praying for you.”

  Rennie smiled tremulously. “Thank you.”

  Reverend Tom smiled back, then cleared his throat. Stepping to one side, he addressed the congregation. “Folks, may I present Mr. and Mrs. Gideon Lowell.”

  Hearty applause broke out as Gideon and Rennie turned to face their well-wishers. Thanks to Cora Mae Kell, town clerk, postmistress and inveterate gossip, word of their upcoming wedding had circulated as rapidly as the news three months ago that Gideon had advertised for a mail-order bride. Almost everyone in Carter’s Junction, as well as a few of Gideon’s friends from Sheridan, had come out to witness the event. St. Luke’s was so crowded there was scarcely standing room.

  The quiet ceremony Gideon had first envisioned had quickly fallen by the wayside. As news of his impending wedding spread, he realized he couldn’t very well tell his friends and neighbors, people he’d known all his life, that they weren’t welcome at his second wedding. That would have caused untold hurt feelings and gossip, gossip neither he nor Rennie needed.

  The church organist, who played forcefully if not accurately, began the newlyweds’ recessional music, “Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring.” With Rennie’s hand tucked securely under his arm, Gideon led her down the aisle.

  They passed the first pew where his children sat, dressed in their Sunday best. Trina’s solemn face and Nicki’s obvious distress sent a shard of pain through his heart. Only Andrew seemed unaware of what was going on.

  Emily Holden was seated there, too, with her two boys and Jim Holden. Gideon knew Emily had put aside her own disapproval of the marriage to support him for the sake of his children, and he was grateful to her for that.

  A receiving line of sorts formed in the back of the church. Gideon’s children joined them, Nicki and Trina pressing close to his side while he held Andrew in his arms. As Gideon made informal introductions, Rennie accepted the congratulations of her new neighbors. She was kissed more times than she could count and desperately tried to fix names with faces for the future.

  “You make a beautiful bride....”

  “You’ve chosen a good man....”

  “Hope you’ll be very happy....”

  “Beautiful wedding, just beautiful...” Tears streamed down the cheeks of a middle-aged woman Rennie didn’t know, Alice Something or Other.

  “Don’t mind my wife, Miz Lowell.” Rennie’s hand was pumped vigorously by the woman’s stocky husband. “She always cries at weddings.”

  “Such a lovely dress,” another woman said, surreptitiously fingering the filmy lavender material, and Rennie recognized the waitress from the café.

  “Thank you.”

  “You didn’t buy it around here.”

  Rennie shook her head, smiling as she confirmed, “No, I didn’t. I bought it in Los Angeles.”

  “Your family couldn’t make the wedding?” she asked archly.

  Rennie had expected the question, so she was ready with an answer. “My parents both passed away several years ago,” she said easily. “And I’m an only child. As for my friends, it’s a long way to come on such short notice.”

  The woman nodded, then looked down at Gideon’s daughters and said, “Well, how does it feel to have a new mommy?”

  Trina mumbled something that Rennie didn’t catch, but Nicki’s expression hardened. Nicki obviously wasn’t pleased with her sister’s answer. Rennie sighed a little, but didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything she could do at this point.

  She turned to greet the next person in line and found herself face-to-face with Emily. Conscious of the curious eyes all around them, Rennie’s heart went out to Emily, whose dilemma was plain on her pretty face. Gideon’s sister-in-law might not believe it, but Rennie understood Emily’s reservations. She had plenty of her own.

  The awkward silence was finally broken by Emily. “Good luck.”

  “Thank you.”

  Gideon kissed Emily’s cheek and echoed Rennie’s thanks. Then Emily moved away and her place was taken by another.

  Finally it was all over, and Gideon led his children to one side to say goodbye. Without going into the details, he had already explained to them that he and Rennie were taking a short honeymoon, but that they would be back Sunday night.

  Rennie had made the suggestion that they go away for the weekend, and after some discussion Gideon had agreed. They both acknowledged their need for time alone together, however brief, to get their marriage started off on the right foot. If they could get to know each other and become somewhat comfortable in their new relationship, the children would benefit greatly in the long run.

  She had left it up to him as to where they should go, however, and he had chosen the picturesque town of Wagon Wheel Gap up in the Bighorn Mountains. It was close enough that they wouldn’t have a long way to travel, but far enough away that they wouldn’t encounter anyone who knew Gideon. That would insure their privacy.

  With Rennie standing quietly a few feet away, Gideon picked up each of his children in turn, hugging and kissing them. Then, with Andrew nestled in one arm, he spoke to Nicki and Trin
a in a low voice.

  “We’ll be back day after tomorrow, just like I told you this morning.” He brushed Nicki’s blond bangs off her forehead with his free hand, then cupped Trina’s cheek. The little girl’s face quivered ominously. “Don’t cry, baby, okay? I promise you I’ll come back.”

  Trina threw her arms around him and burst into tears. Gideon glanced helplessly at Rennie.

  Something blossomed in her heart in that moment. Although Emily was nearby, Gideon hadn’t turned to her for help. He’d looked to Rennie. She didn’t stop to analyze her emotions, just moved to his side.

  “Let me take Andrew,” she whispered, gently pulling the little boy into her arms. “You deal with Trina.”

  Gideon nodded when he saw Andrew go willingly to Rennie. He picked Trina up once more, comforting her as she sobbed against his shoulder. Rennie watched his face contort with pain over his daughter’s fear of abandonment.

  She almost told him to forget their brief honeymoon if it was going to make Trina so unhappy, but bit her lip to keep from blurting out the words. They would be gone only two days. And those two days alone were important, at least to her.

  Rennie nuzzled Andrew’s neck, kissing him secretly. He smelled so sweet, and his sturdy little body felt so good in her arms. She smiled at him, coaxing a smile in return. Remarkable how much Andrew resembled Gideon, from his sun-streaked brown hair, his hazel eyes, to his solemn little face. As if there were nothing of Johanna in him. Rennie hadn’t told anyone—there’d been no one to tell—but she’d lost her heart to Andrew the first time she’d seen him smile.

  A prickling sensation along the back of her neck made Rennie look up. Now that Gideon’s attention was elsewhere, Nicki’s hazel eyes bored into Rennie with unconcealed antagonism. No surprise there. But Rennie sensed other emotions warring within Nicki, emotions she’d experienced herself years ago. She smiled gently at her new stepdaughter, and saw a flash of pain in Nicki’s eyes before the girl looked away. Pain, and something else. Something that looked like fear.

  Rennie’s heart ached for her. Oh, Nicki. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to help you. If you’ll let me.